Earn Every Moment
by SG1 Animal
Summary: A love story. Building bridges, taking time and earning the moments. MerDer
1. Drowning In My Sorrows

**Drowning In My Sorrows**

* * *

_"Me I don't show much  
Its not that hard to hide you  
See in a moment  
I cant remember how to  
Be all you wanted  
I couldn't ever love you more  
I couldn't love you more  
I couldn't love  
You want me to cry and play my part  
I want you to sigh and fall apart  
We want this like everyone else"_

**The End Of The World – The Cure**

* * *

_"So pick me. Choose me. Love me."_

My words echo in my head as I sit at the bar with George, Izzie and Cristina. I said that I wouldn't beh. But I did.

And now he isn't coming. I know it.

So I begged and looked like a fool, and for what? For nothing.

Each time the door opens the four of us whip our heads round, but I know he isn't coming. So do they.

"Pour me another." I tell Joe, whose eyes crinkle sympathetically.

"This ones on the house." I nod my thanks as he continues speaking, "He'll come Meredith." I grin at his optismism. Moments later George says something similar and out of the corner of my eye I see both Izzie amd Cristina whack him.

I look at Cristina and she has the look on her face. One I recognise from me wearing the same look so many times as well. The look where we have to tell a family that their loved one won't make it.

Rule one of dealing with loved ones and families.

No Promises.

I tip my head back and savour the burn of the amber liquid trickling down my throat and into my gut.

And I wait. For something.. For someone.. who won't come.


	2. Silent Goodbyes

**Silent Goodbyes**

**

* * *

**

****

_"My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundations,  
And I know that I should let go,  
But I can't.  
And everytime we fight I know it's not right,  
Everytime that you're upset and I smile.  
I know I should forget, but I can't."_

**Foundations - Kate Nash**

* * *

"So this is all I get?"

I look into her eyes filled with pain and loss. I used to love this woman. It used to break my heart to see her pain. But now it just makes me sorry.

"Yep. This is it."

"You mean we aren't even gonna fight for it?"

"No. What's left to fight for?" I snort.

"Our marriage? 11 years Derek?"

I think back to my words to Meredith. "I'm entitled to a little uncertainty here. Just a moment to understand the magnitude of what it means to cut somebody out of my life. I am entitled to at least one moment … of painful doubt." I've had the moment and I know the thing to do now.

"Oh, come one Addie. We've been over a long time. Look how long it took for you to come after me. And why did you wait so long? What kept you?"

"I..I.." she stutters.

"Don't worry. I know about you and Mark. You're only here because you found him cheating on you. Just like I found you cheating on me. Karma.. It's a bitch eh?"

"I made a mistake Derek. And you and slutty intern girl, I get it.. you made a mistake too. We can get over this. We can make it. With Addison and Derek."

I shake my head and look away.

"That's where you are wrong Addie. I didn't make a mistake. Me and Meredith. It is not a mistake. In fact. It's so right it scares me. You and me are over. We were over a long time before Mark and you know it. We both worked too hard. Neither wanted to give up our careers. I changed since I moved here and met Meredith. She fixed what you broke."

"I miss you."

"No Addie. You just don't like being on your own. You came here because you are running from Mark. I'm not even angry that you don't want me. Because we both know we aren't meant to be together. Just go back to New York. See Mark, see whoever. There's nothing for you here. You're just running from Mark back to your safe bet. Me. But I'm not the same man I was in New York. That day you and Mark changed me irreparably." I stand up and I pull out a sheaf of papers from my brief case. "Go home Addie. Back to New York. There's nothing here for you. I sorry. But I don't regret our marriage Addison. Remember that. One time I really did love you. Just not anymore. Goodbye Addison."

I hand her the signed divorce papers and walk out the hospital with a smile on my face and a weight of my shoulders. And with a whispered "Goodbye Derek" carried by the wind, I'm free.


	3. A Shot In The Darkness

**A Shot In The Darkness**

* * *

_"Whatever _

_You, you come to me  
So perfectly yeah  
So perfectly made_

_And yeah all that you are  
And yeah all that you said  
You're so exquisitely bred  
Hmm yeah what more can I say _

_So yeah, yeah  
I guess its alright  
Yeah, no  
I guess it's alright whatever  
Yeah no  
I guess its alright  
Yeah no  
I guess its alright whatever_

_And I, I hate ya for  
For letting me fall for you  
Just like a fool_

_And now I'm all psyching out  
Hmm 'cause all were about  
Is this ugly phone and its all I have  
To look forward to, yeah. _

_Dreaming, of you lying in my bed  
Just like how we were just days before  
Oh just leave me just get out of my head  
'Cause I cant take this torture any more_

_You're so far away, yeah  
Why are you so far away  
From me"_

**Whatever – Imogen Heap**

* * *

On my fifth shot of tequila and I'm just getting that warming floating buzz. I look at Izzie, head slumped on Georges shoulder. Both of them are tired and yet they stay. They wait with me. That's my family. Cristina turns to me. Voice low so the others can't hear. 

"He's a McDickhead if he chooses McStuckUp over you." That's the nicest thing she's ever said to me. Apart from when she told me I was her person.

"Damn Straight!" I lift the new shot Joe placed on the bar in front of me and down it in one as the sound of the door opens. For the last half an hour we have all given up on looking. I look up at Joe to ask him for another but his gaze is riveted on something over my shoulder. Most probably Walter. But I look at Cristina and the other two who have seemed to suddenly have perked up and they too have their gaze on something behind me. I look at Joe's grinning face and feel a presence behind me.

Him. I ignore him. I face Joe, my back ramrod straight. Without turning I shoot a look at Cristina.

"Not a McDickhead?" I ask ignoring everyone else she focuses on me.

"Who knows? He'll fuck it up. Give it time." she smirks.

"You're my person."

"I know. I'm your person." she smirks not helping me at all. George and Izzie used to our bizarre conversations ignore us. I look at my person imploringly but she ignores it and if anything her smirk grows. I shake my head in annoyance and continue to ignore the presence behind me.

"Another tequila Joe." Joe looks at me.

"You sure?"

"Yes." I glare at him. Not that I'm trying to be rude, I soften the glare and smile in apology. Its OK, he gets it. He understands me. At least he understands dark and twisty tequila wanting Meredith.

He nods and turns to get my tequila and places it on the bar at the same time a voice behind me says "The usual please Joe."

And as Cristina looks at me she's the only one who sees the tears streaming down my face.


	4. Start Falling Each Day

**Start Falling Each Day**

* * *

_"I don't know what it is tonight  
Your smile, Your eyes  
Even in the candlelight  
You shine so bright"_

I lean in and take the drink Joe holds out for me. My lips brush her ear and my breath causes her hair to flutter. Speaking softly, I whisper words so low that only her and Cristina can hear, and most probably Joe even as he pretends to ignore us.

"I pick you. I choose you. I love you." I take the words she said to me earlier this evening and turn them back on her. My whispered promise.

_"And you are so beautiful  
More beautiful than you've ever been  
I catch my breath  
And Fall in love again"_

She turns on the stool and her hazel eyes stare at me with a sheen of tears.

"I know" I start, finding the words harder to say than I thought. "I know that I have to prove it to you. And I have to wait, I don't expect you to forgive me overnight. I didn't lie, but I didn't tell you everything. When.. When you need to know everything.. When I can tell you everything.. I will. When you are ready. And I know that is not right now."

_"I can't imagine where I'd be  
Without you with me  
I need you more everyday  
More than words can say"_

"Right now you are going to get pissed with Cristina and bitch about me. I know. And that's how you should be. I mucked up. Badly. But I promise you now. I'll do whatever it takes to work this out. Because I'm in. I mean I'm really really in this Meredith. And I know you are to. I can't live without you. I need you."

I watch tears fall down her face, and I feel my own eyes rimmed with them too, but I hold them back.

_"I want you in my life for all of my life  
This night will never end  
You take my hand  
And I fall in love again"_

I take her hand in mine, never losing eye contact for a second. "I'm telling you now. This is forever. I'm in this for the forever. And I'll work on this every day to make sure you don't regret a moment of us."

_"Nothing short of a miracle  
Could have brought you here to me  
When I'm with you  
Heavens all I see  
All I see"_

"Because I love you."

"I love you too Derek. But.. we need time." she says. I feel my heart clench but know to accept her words. I can't push her away. It'll take time.

"I know baby. We need space. We'll take space. But I'll be here. I'll be waiting."

_"Caught up in every touch  
I feel the rush  
Of this moment that we're in  
Each time we kiss  
I fall in love again"_

I lean in and kiss her. Before saying one last time "I love you". I down the rest of my drink and turn and leave, not looking back knowing if I do I wouldn't be able to leave or give her the space she needs.

_"I can't resist  
I fall in love again"_

She's my everything. And all I have to do is prove it. And I can do that. Because I am not leaving. I need her by my side. I need her everyday so I can fall in love with her more and more. I want her to one day become my wife.

Time.

I hate time.

* * *

A/N: Lyrics from this chapter are **Fall in Love - Nick Lachey**


	5. Known It All Along

**Known It All Along**

_

* * *

_

_"You're the echoes of my everything  
You're the emptiness  
The whole world sings at night  
You're the laziness of afternoon  
You're the reason why  
I burst and why I bloom"_

**Hold Me Down – Motion City Soundtrack**

* * *

I watch him walk away. Cristina snorts as Izzie fumbles in her huge bag and comes out with a packet of tissues. Cristina takes them from her and thrusts them into my hand, as I stare at the door. He's long gone. I mean its been minutes. But I can't turn away. I mechanically take a tissue from the pack and dry my eyes before turning. I stare at the bottles behind the bar. We sit in silence. My friends unable to find the words they need, and me too numb. 

As the moments pass realisation comes back, "He chose me." I say, my voice slightly in awe.

"McDreamy chose you." Cristina smiles. Well, I know she tries to smile. Its more a softened smirk. But I appreciate the sentiment.

"I never get picked."

"Why not?" asks George, "Any guy would be mental not to chose you Meredith." I see the slight blush on his cheeks, but I keep the façade of me not knowing about his crush on me.

"George is right." says Izzie. "And looks what he said. Aww. It was so sweet and romantic. I'm happy for you Meredith you deserve this."

"Do I?" doubt creeps into my voice. "I don't.. I never.. I'm ordinary. Why me? I didn't think when I begged him.. I never thought he'd really. Oh my god. He chose me. And he said he'd give me space. Do I need space?"

"Yes" Izzie and George say as Cristina says "No."

I look at them bemused, as Izzie glares at Cristina. "You love him we know that Mer, but you can't just jump into a relationship. He didn't tell you about Addison. You need to take time. and take it slow. If you want to be with him, which you do right? then take the time to get to know each other this time. Do it properly." says Izzie. Always the romantic. I nod.

Looking up at Joe who smiles at me.

"You heard Derek" I say. "I need to get pissed and bitch about him."

And we get our drinks Cristina turns to me. "He was a McAss.."

And we spend the night McSlagging off McDreamy, McDickhead, McBastard, McAss…


	6. Morning Of Pleasant Communication

**Morning of Pleasant Communication**

* * *

_"And all this talk of time  
Talk is fine  
And I don't want to stay around  
Why can't we pantomime,_

_Just close our eyes  
And sleep sweet dreams  
Me and you with wings on our feet"_

**The Great Beyond – REM**

* * *

"Good Morning Doctor Grey" I say as I watch her approach the nurses station I'm leaning against.

"Doctor Shepherd" She nods curtly.

"Rough night?" I smirk.

"Your idea." She retorts.

"Fair enough." I look back at the chart I'm holding and make some more notes, but eyes are dragged away as I watch Meredith lean over the nurses station to grab another chart. Her scrub top lifts at the hem allowing me a view of her soft silky skin. I raise my eyes up and meet her eyes laughing back at me. She grabs the chart and stands back up. Flipping it open she's walks towards me, and past me towards the patient rooms, knowing I'm watching her she adds an extra sway to her hips. "Goodbye Doctor Shepherd." she smirks looking back at me.

"Adios Senorita!" I grin, and turn back, seeing Dr Bailey at the end of the corridor glaring at me. I smile my "McDreamy" smile even though I know she doesn't buy it. And walk off to room 2310 where Mr Hannon is waiting for me.

* * *

_"I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs  
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there  
Over my shoulder a piano falls  
Crashing to the ground"_

* * *

I stand at the OR board and feel her stand next to me. 

"Bailey sent me." she says, I nod.

"I know, I asked her to."

"And she said yes?"

"I'm as surprised as you are I thought she'd send Yang to wind me up." Meredith laughed and I grin at her happy that there was such easiness between us.

"So.." she says gazing at me before snapping back to the board. "What's up?"

"Wanted to know if you want in on my surgery."

"Mr Hannon? The guy with the tumor yea?"

"That's right. The astrocytoma, in the optic nerve. Grade 4"

"No cure."

"Nope, but we should be able to get a large chunk of it out safely, and then use the palliative treatments, radiation and chemotherapy."

"Right. What time?"

"2. See you then Doctor Grey" I smile at her before heading off to my office before I grab lunch in the cafeteria.


	7. And In A Moment We Fall

**And In A Moment We Fall**

_

* * *

__"She has a beautiful smile  
She's a clean in your eye  
Dresses like a princess  
Playing games in your mind  
Falling out of the top  
Brings a hand through her hair  
Playing so hard to get  
But she knows that you care"_

**It's Not About You – Scouting For Girls**

* * *

I turn to Cristina sat opposite me on the table and smile. 

"Oh god. Happy Meredith. Stop it."

"Nope. I can't I'm happy. Really happy. Bailey even let me go to Derek's surgery. I mean, I know she most probably doesn't know he chose me yet. But! I can have this one, perfect, happy working day before she takes it all out in me. So no. Today I will not stop it."

"Look, Lover Boy!" says Cristina, I whirl around and see Derek in the line for food. He turns at the same moment and smiles before turning and I watch his gaze catch on something else.

The world slows down. Time becomes slow, Cristina's voice comes to me sounding like a video on slow playback. I watch as Derek's eyes lock on to her. And in that moment, but previously gloriously happy moment comes crashing down. I stand and up and Cristina does the same, as Derek whirls round with a look of complete confusion on his face I shake my head, time resumes its normal pace as tears threaten to fall I whirl out of the room and with Cristina hurrying behind me tear down to the gurneys on the bottom floor, our normal hang out spot. And in a second my happy mood disappears, and I'm wishing for a bottle of tequila.

As I sit on the gurneys I hear Cristina's voice "Listen Mer. I don't think he's lying. Wait. Give him a chance." I listen to my person.

The first time she's stood up for Derek, and I nod my head as my tears fall.

I'll give him a chance, as long as he doesn't break my heart.

* * *

So more reviews would be nice, but whatever.. I am using a lot of tracks from my fave artists, a lot of Brit bands will feature as I am a UK gal, born and bred. Listen to their songs, you won't regret it. 


	8. Riding The Wave

**Riding The Wave**

_

* * *

__"Why do you keep on hanging round  
Can't you see it gets me down?  
Because when I look at you I see  
Somebody I just don't want to be."_

**You're A Nightmare – Pulp**

* * *

"What are you doing here?" I hiss as I grab her arm and pull her towards the door. 

"Whoa, hold on, we're getting divorced, you can't tell me to the leave. And according to the Chief I can't leave. Apparently I something called a contract." Addison said, with a fierce glare in her eye.

"How long?" I ask, desperation in my voice.

"2 years."

My silence feels the void. Pain hums behind my eyes.

"This cannot be happening."

"Get used to it. I'm Dr Montgomery now. And I'm staying."

As she walks away I turn and head to the bank of lifts. I stab the button as if it'd make the lift come faster. I step in, punch in the floor I need and pray that she's there.

I hear a murmuring conversation, listening closely I make out Yang, O'Malley and Stevens talking. I walk into the corridor and just stay at the woman curled on the bed. I ignore the rest of them and walk over to her.

"I'm so sorry Mere. She can't leave. The Chief is making her work out her contract."

She looks up at me with red rimmed eyes. "How long?" she asks, voicing the same question I asked Addison moments before.

"2 years." I pull her to me. "This doesn't mean anything. She's my ex-wife. The divorce is still on. It's still you Meredith. Her being here wont change it. I promise."

"Really?" I stand up and move so I look directly into her eyes.

"I swear Meredith Grey," turning to her friends "In front of all you're friends, and on the rule that if I break my promise you're person can do with me what she will and make it look like an accident, that" turning back to her noticing a faint grin on her lips "that I want you. And only you. I pick You. I choose You. I love You." Knowing those three sentences will become our promise forever, apart of us which will keep us together. Our oath. Our vow.

She nods, knowing that I'm telling the truth and relaxes into me. I look at Yang and she nods her head in agreement. Strange, it's as if she actually is starting to like me. Weirder things have happened I suppose.

I glance at my watch. "We have to go. Surgery in an hour." She wipes the tears from her cheeks and returns to her professional mode.

"You want me to prep him?"

"Yep sure, and put a call through to oncology. They'll need to speak to him after surgery.

"Palliative treatments yeah?"

I nod and notice her friends grinning.

"What I ask?"

Dr Stevens' cheeks redden with embarrassment. "We.. we gave you a hard time thinking you would favour her, but now. We get it. At work you're Dr Grey and Dr Shepherd. And outside the doors of this place you're Derek and Meredith. We.. We're sorry we doubted you guys." I look at O'Malley, noticing the same look of shame on his face. Yang of course is smirking knowing she doesn't have to apologise.

"Its ok" I grin at them and Meredith. "You we're right to be pissed at us. But.. I won't favour Mer...I promise" They seem satisfied and with that we say our goodbyes and head up to our patient.


	9. Within My Past Is My Future

**Within My Past Is My Future**

* * *

_"Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard  
Happiness was never mine to hold  
Careful child, light the fuse and get away  
'Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks"_

**Happiness – The Fray**

* * *

"So" he asks as he orders one of the residents to finish closing. "How about a date?"

"You're asking me out like this?"

"What's wrong with this? It's romantic."

"Seriously Derek? Seriously?"

"Yes. It is."

"Derek, saying "So how about a date?" in the middle of a scrub room is definitely not romantic." I inform him.

"You saying "Pick me. Choose me. Love me." in a scrub room was romantic."

"Yes. It was. But this isn't."

"Ok." he stands and tilts his head at me like he usually does when watching me. He rinses his hands under the taps and dries them before walking closer to me. He tugs my mask down, because I had forgotten until then that I was still wearing it and stares straight into my eyes. My knees go weak, just at his look. The McDreamy look. I see a knowing glint in his eye as he raises a hand a runs it through my hair.

"I love you. Date me." I silently gaze at him as he pauses before ordering me "8pm, the lobby. Me and You." He kisses my forehead and I sigh. God he's turning me into one of those sickly sweet people. Just like Cristina said.

"See you later Dr Grey." He winks at me before breezing out the door. And as I stand alone in the scrub room I mutter "Damn you" at the realisation that I have been ordered on a date. And that I was wrong. Because to me that was romantic. Or maybe it just made me really horny cause right now I can't get the thought of him out of my head. But I'm taking it slow. I remind myself repeating Time, We are taking Time.

As the rest of the team files out of the OR and into the scrub room I hastily pull down a towel dry my hands and leave searching for Christina.

* * *

_"Happiness damn near destroys you  
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor  
So you tell yourself, that's probably enough for now  
Happiness has a violent roar"_

* * *

I finally find her sitting in the gallery overlooking an operation by Burke.

"Why aren't you in there?" I ask slumping into the chair beside her.

"Bailey is making me do her notes. Just because I wasn't "Izzie Nice" to a patient. I mean. How bad could it be? I didn't tell him he was dying. I just said "You'll be alright." Apparently, that isn't correct beside manners for a Doctor. Whatever." Cristina explains. "So, what do you want Miss Shiny Happy McLoser?"

"Well, cheers for that." I grin, before faltering.

"What?" she asks, annoyed before I say anything.

"Do you.. Do you think I'm too happy?" I focus on burkes operation ignoring her face. I can't look at her, but I feel the smirk.

"Yes."

"Is that bad?" I turn to look at her.

"Why would you think it's bad?"

"I.. I don't get to be happy. People leave. People forget. People hurt me. I just.. I drink.. and then I move on. I always remember, but each time." I pause, breathing in, glad that we're alone in the gallery. "Each time I get a little more broken."

She gathers her papers together and stands to leave. She looks down at me waiting for me to look at her before speaking. "Mere, things happen. You have bad things I get that. You'll always be a little dark and twisty, but you and McDreamy.. And if you tell anyone I'm saying this I'll kill you.. well.. I think you should give it a chance." She looks down at Burke. "Trust me.. we both have issues, but Burke and Shepherd.. maybe that's our good thing for all the shit? I don't know. But you need to stop questioning and doubting.. You've been very emotional today. I don't like it. Suck it up." She grins before leaving me to think. I know and she knows that everything she just said is right on the money. I'm just over thinking. It's been a stressful few days. I look at my watch and realise my shift is over so I head to the locker room and get changed.

In the locker room I see Izzie who smiles at me.

"How are you?"

"I'm good. I have a date."

"Me too!" squeals excited Izzie.

I hear the low voice of Cristina from the other side of the lockers as she growls "Calm down Barbie"

I smile at Izzie, asking "With Alex?"

"I know you lot think he's an ass. And he is. Sometimes. But he's nice. Once you get to know him. Really. He is."

"I know Izzie."

"You.. You do?" she asks at the same time as Cristina looks round at me and says "What?"

"Really, I do." I look at Christina as I close my locker door with a smile and say "I'm just going with the current or whatever."

"The flow?" My person asks smirking.

"Yea.. see you later guys."

I walk to the lifts and walk in. As usual fate kicks me in the shin and I see Addison standing at the back. I breath in and walk in.

"Hi" I say, obviously unable to ignore her when there is just the two of us in the lift.

"Doctor Grey."

"Wow.. this is.. uncomfortable." she says after a moment.

"Yeah" I grin at her.

"Look Grey," the doors open and she moves to leave. "I don't hate you. You and Derek I get it. It's fine. The three of us are here for 2 years. We need to get along. Yeah?"

I smile my first real smile at her and she returns it.

"I agree."

"Goodnight Meredith." She smiles a little sadly but its real none-the-less.

"Goodnight Addison." The doors close and when the open next I see Derek leaning against the wall.

"Is that all you do?" I ask.

"Do what?"

"Lean against walls."

"No." I look at him disbelievingly. "I don't. I work. I lean. I kiss." He said grinning and do exactly that. As he moves away after he reaches his hand out and takes mine, I smile at him and he leads me to the car.

"So" after driving in silence for a while I ask "Where are we going?"

"My trailer."

"Your trailer?"

"Yep."

"Derek I am not going to have sex with you." He looks at me eyes wide before bursting out with laughter. "What?" I ask as he doesn't stop chuckling.

"You look so.. scandalised. I know we aren't having sex. I'm making you dinner." he explains.

"Oh." my cheeks red with embarrassment. He turns the radio on, unsurprisingly a CD of The Clash is on.

* * *

_And I have lived that kind of day  
When none of your sorrows will go away  
It goes down and down and hit the floor  
Down and down and down some more  
Depression  
But I now there'll be some way  
When I can swing everything back my way  
Like skyscrapers rising up  
Floor by floor, I'm not giving up_

**I'm Not Down – The Clash**

* * *

****

As we listen to the music I turn to Derek and say what I feel.

"I'm happy Derek. Really."

He says nothing until we stop at the next red light when he turns and says, "Good. Me too."

I place my hand on his on the gear stick and smile. Leaning back and gazing out as Seattle passes me by.


	10. It's A Matter Of Words

**It's A Matter Of Words**

_

* * *

__"__I'll start this broken heart  
I'll fix it up so it will work again  
Better than before_

_Then I'll star in a mystery  
A tragic tale of all that's yet to come  
Fingers crossed there will be love"_

**Broken Heart – Motion City Soundtrack**

* * *

****

"I'm in this." I break the silence of the dinner. Not uncomfortable strained silence. Just relaxed silence, of us exchanging meaningful looks. I break it just like she did in the car. With words I can't hold in.

She screws up her face, with a glint in her eye telling me that inside she's laughing at me. "I know. You said that before."

I nod, embarrassed.

"I know. But. Meredith I'm really in."

"Me too."

"So because we're both so.."

" In?"

I nod again. "Yes. Well. We should. Make plans. And I. I am building a house." I jerk my thumb over my shoulder. "Out there. My land. There will be a house."

Her hand holding a forkful of food pauses and returns to her place which she gently pushes away.

"You're building a house. Okay."

"Yeah. I'm building a house. And I want you to know that.. I have every intention of living there with you. You and me. This is like. A forever deal here Meredith." I say, standing on the verge of rejection and acceptance.

Slowly she nods, her face a light with a smile "You want me to move in?"

"Yeah. Look, I know we said slow. But by the time the house is built it'll be six months at least. They're starting work tomorrow." I grin.

"When did you do this? Last night after I left. I went to the architects and told him what I wanted paid for it and voila! It's happening."

"That's good."

"I know."

"Derek" she says after a pause. "You know we said about time."

Not quite sure where she's heading with this I nod. "Yeah."

She looks down at the table avoiding my gaze and fidgeting with her napkin she put there. "Is nine months enough?"

Nine months.. what.. no… she means.. nine months.. and suddenly I..


	11. And Their Resulting Actions

**And Their Resulting Actions**

* * *

_"But he was looking at her, yeah all funny in the eye.  
She said "come on boy tell me what your thinking,  
Now don't be shy."  
He said alright, "I'll try.  
All the stars up in the sky and the leaves in the trees,  
All the broken bits that make you jump up and grassy bits in between.  
All the matter in the world is how much I like you."_

**Birds – Kate Nash**

* * *

…coughs and the scotch he was drinking spurts out his mouth across the table at my face as he realises what I said. 

"We're…" he trails of flinging a finger between the two of us.

I nod.

"You're.." this time the finger is point at my face, then my stomach.

I nod.

"So I'm.."

Sick of the half formed sentences I butt in.

"We're having a baby. I'm Pregnant. You're going to be a dad."

"A daddy… I'm gonna be a daddy. We're.. we're a family."

"Whoa. Slow down. Time remember." He stops his incoherent rambling and glances at me.

"How long?"

"5 weeks."

"We have under 8 months to get ready."

"Calm down Derek." I smile.

He comes to my side of the table and hugs me. Sitting on the love seat I smile. Marvelling at how perfect the moment feels.

Later we lie down in his bed and he curls up behind me whispering in my ear. "I love you." Before placing his hand on my belly. "And our McBaby." I got to sleep with a soft smile on my face. At peace.

* * *

_"L is for the way you look at me  
O is for the only one I see  
V is very, very extraordinary  
E is even more than anyone that you adore_

_Love is all that I can give to you  
Love is more than just a game for two  
Two in love can make it  
Take my heart but please don't break it  
'Cause love was made for me and you  
I said love was made for me and you  
You know that love was made for me and you"_

**L O V E - Michael Buble**

* * *

**A/N: so there may be a change of style next chapt. I haven't decided yet. Same story line but maybe 3rd person or something. First person is sorta hard.. especially thinking like Derek. Men think wierd. At least.. When I try and think like a man the man think is wierd.. lol. whatever. Take Care readers.**

**Peace.**


	12. And We Have Notice

Hey, just a note to say, I'm marking this as complete now. If you would like a sequel then please review and tell me. I've just started a great new fic called Somehow the pain flows away. I'm really enthused about the new one. This fic, earn every moment, has me run out of steam, but if a sequel is asked for I'm sure I could get off my butt and think of something good that you'd enjoy. And ideas you'd like feature in the possible sequel would be welcomed. Baby names, proposals and such.

Take care,

Peace.


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